Home!

So, I posted a picture earlier about loving the place you come from... because I was headed home for the weekend! It was a surprise to my sister so I didn't want to say anything, just in case she happened to look at this before I got there!

I'm so excited to be with my family and friends and my fluffy little girl, Fiona!

I'm taking the rest of the weekend off - see you on Monday!

I find this especially relevant today:

Source: WeHeartIt

Immediately (Mark 10:46-52)

Immediately, he regained his sight and followed Jesus on the path.


This is the verse that jumped out at me during lectio divina today. I was reading Mark 10:46-52, "Bartimaeus receives his sight."


There are a lot of things about passage that I love:
Bartimaeus knows that he's broken. In his valley of despair, he still trusts in the Lord. He calls out to Jesus. It takes courage, it takes faith, to confront the brokenness that is inside ourselves. And we've all got it. Bartimaeus's brokenness is partly physical - he's blind.


And so, Bartimaeus is shouting, "Jesus, have mercy on me!" And everyone around him, the crowds following Jesus, they're all saying, "Bartimaeus, you just shut your mouth." (i.e. rebuking)


And Jesus stops walking and says, "Eh, no no no. Call him over to me." Jesus stands still. In this big, loud crowd, Jesus hears Bartimaeus's call and he stands still.


So someone, I'm guessing it was one of the disciples but really it just says the very vague 'they,' tells Bartimaeus Jesus has called him.


Jesus asks Bartimaeus, "What do you want me to do for you?" Now, we can unpack that syntax another time, I think it's pretty loaded. 


Bartimaeus says, "Rabbi, I want to see." Woah. Now, I know Bart is blind, but this is kind of what we all want, right? We want to see. We want to see past our fears, past our selves. We want to see the world, the good. We want to understand our place in all of it. We want to know God. We want to see.


And Jesus says, "Go, your faith has healed you." Jesus doesn't say, "I have healed you." He says your faith, your trust in God, your continual belief (not dogma or creed), the faith you have in the Lord in the midst of your brokenness, your willingness to be vulnerable, to open yourself and trust in the Lord, that is what made you well. That's what I think Jesus is saying to Bartimaeus.


But wait, Bart doesn't just go off on his merry way once he can see again. 


IMMEDIATELY, he regained his sight. Immediately. And he followed Jesus on the path. Once his eyes were opened, there was no going back to his prior life.


His trust in God was so deep and real that it healed him. It made him well, it made him whole. And once Bartimaeus regained his sight, he didn't just say, "I'm going to do what I want now," even though Jesus didn't tell him he couldn't. Bartimaeus said, 'I've seen this good that trust in the Lord can do and I can't go back to living my life like I was before.' and  he followed Jesus on the path. 


Immediately. That word has stuck with me all day. The decision follow Jesus on the path wasn't one contemplated with pros-and-cons lists. The bills weren't all paid, money wasn't saved. Right then and there, the presence of the Lord so changed Bartimaeus's life that he couldn't go back to life he knew... There was nothing there for him because he had found a way to move past his despair, to become whole. Immediately. 

Be Bold, Be Bald!

This year, I'll be participating in a fundraiser to raise money for cancer research, patient care, etc. through a project called Be Bold, Be Bald! 


I'll be wearing a bald cap all day and I've set my fundraising goal at $150. If we can meet that, great! If we can go beyond that, awesome! And I say "we" because this is a team effort. I'll be wearing the bald cap but I need sponsors. 


I can't imagine there still exist people whose lives haven't been affected, in some way, by cancer. If there are, realize how blessed you are. I've had family and friends who have fought cancer and I've lost family to cancer. And, I know he wasn't a human, I've also lost a dog to lung cancer. Now, the fundraiser is for research/care for cancer in humans, but I was trying to illustrate my point. 


So, I set the bar low, I think. If I get 30 friends with $5, well, this will be easy as pie for all of us. If I get 15 friends with $10, that works too. If I get some friends with $1 and some friends with $10, and some who aren't feeling the effects of the economy right now with $30, well, hey we are on a roll. 


HOW CAN YOU HELP FIGHT CANCER?


Go to my Be Bold, Be Bald! 2011 fundraising page:  http://beboldbebald.kintera.org/MaddieDatANTS

An Interview!

Hi friends!

I am generally the type of person who keeps what may be good news under wraps until the last minute but I guess if we can't be candid about our worries and our fears, then we're not really open to others... So, knowing that there is still the possibility that this may not work out, I have some good news:

I got an interview at one of the places I've applied! 

Finally! I've been submitting applications, following up, and worrying about finding a job like crazy and no potential employers have expressed any interest. Now, I know I do not have a job yet but the possibility is still nice.

Please send me your positive thoughts and prayers, as this job is in a great location and it's an office assistant position, which I've got three years of experience in, so I would be awesome at it... I just have to show them that when I interview! 

I'll let you know what happens.

Sunday

Hey everybody!


Right now I'm taking a break from reading about the liturgical year (did you know it starts with Easter and not Advent? And that Easter is 50 days long, not just one Sunday?). Homework has been lots of reading, which I'm often accomplishing on the T.


Yesterday, I went over to Cambridge to go to this massive vintage/second-hand clothing store and super amazing costume shop. Their costumes were a bit pricey but the clothes were amazing. I didn't actually get any clothes but I was amazed at everything they had.


Today, I cleaned my room (I know, this is exactly why you come to look at my blog, right?). Woohoo. I clean my room, like, every day though so that's not really exciting... Anyway, I'm gonna finish up my reading for tomorrow's class and then a group of friends are doing a reading of Hamlet on the quad (I'm Queen Gertrude!) so I'm going to that in a little while.


Later on, well, probably more homework. Or trolling Craigslist for jobs... I still haven't found though I apply a couple places every day. Please keep my job search in your prayers.


<3


P.S. If you haven't read the Still Speaking devotional today, here it is. I laughed when I saw it because it's titled, "Darn That Jesus."


P.P.S. Why is it so humid when it's almost October?

Anna Rose at the Ames Hotel

So, I like to read dig, an online (and print) source for music/theater/arts/tv/food/etc. Pretty much, if you live in Boston, read it and you can find stuff to do. I got an email today that listed all the goings on and I saw the intro to this article that said Anna Rose would be playing at the Ames. I was hooked because she covered one of my favorite songs from Arcade Fire, "My Body is a Cage." Okay, so it's five o' clock when I read this and the article says 6-9. I asked around campus and put it out on facebook but, you know, with literally an hour until the show, no one was free. I almost decided against going but I'm glad I didn't.

I got to the Ames at 7 and ordered the obligatory drink (free actually means "buy a drink" so I bought a coke because that's how I roll, homes) and Anna Rose came on shortly after. I scored a nice spot where I could lean back against a column and listen to the music. I was immediately glad that I'd surpassed my "shy" tendencies.

Anna Rose's voice is filled with emotion, her lyrics reflect hard work and real life. She isn't manufactured and I'm glad because her words, her music, her voice, her essence is real and that comes across when she's joking around with her band between songs, when she's telling the audience which drinks sound good, and when she's laying her soul out for everyone to see (well, hear).

I bought her CD after the show so I could continue to listen and... she gave me her set list! How awesome is that? :)

So I'm really glad that I went out tonight because I would have missed some awesome music and a great experience in "doing things solo."

Please check out Anna Rose on itunes, her CD is called "Nomad"
She's also on facebook and twitter so be sure to like/follow her!

Thank you, Aunt Dee!

My favorite emails are the ones that say, 

You have a package in Upper Noyes Hall.

I especially love when I get them and I'm not expecting a package, like yesterday, and again today! While I've still got another hour before I can pick up today's package, yesterday's package was a real treat!

My aunt Dee sent me homemade cookies, brownies, and - my favorite - magic bars! Also, pumpkin spice jello and candies and cookies and a journal and a sweet note! It was such a great surprise! And I've been sick for almost a week now so this was really nice and made me feel a lot less "blah" than I've been feeling lately.

Thank you, Dee Dee! I love you & miss you! 

Thursday Debrief

So, I'm done with my first week of classes. I know this semester is going to be a lot of work but I think all of my teachers are amazing and I've got a pretty good selection of classes going.


My worship class is going to be all about learning the liturgical year (don't fret, ex-Catholics, this is a good thing, and - believe it or not - something we still use in the UCC, we just want to call it something else, the order of worship, the bulletin, whatever, same stuff.)


My spiritual practices class focuses on the inner spiritual life - learning different ways to pray and to connect with our selves and God in different ways.


My history class covers America's religious history. We also focus on the history of a religious institution in our "local history" projects.


Finally, my Old Testament course focuses on... the Old Testament! Which is different from the Tanakh/Jewish Bible, and which can be referred to as the Hebrew Bible, but as we learned today, the Jewish Bible and the OT are in different orders, on purpose. And the Jewish Bible wasn't entirely in Hebrew, parts of it were in Aramaic... So our words fall short as usual. But when I refer to the class, I will generally refer to it as Hebrew Bible, for the sake of trying to respect all parties involved. But I love these books - the Song of Solomon, the Psalms, the heartbreakingly honest poetry in the book of Job... The Hebrew Bible is real and raw and it is life... It says that God is the creator of all, good and bad, and in the midst of all of this, we continue to love our God. These are the books that Jesus and the disciples lived by, they are the roots for everything that has come after... and as the dean said at convocation - 

A tree without roots will not be able to stand against the wind.

These are the roots that the tree grew out of, my tree, my faith. And I feel it would be wrong to say that one or the other, in my opinion, is better. Both are absolutely necessary. Both are filled with God's promises, with life. The Old Testament continues to speak alongside the New Testament. So, as you can tell, I'm really excited for that course... because if we just look at the New Testament and say "Well, nothing else matters now that we have this," then we are really missing out, because the Jewish Bible is what Jesus lived, so it has to matter for those of us who believe in the salvation God offers through Jesus... if our faith has no roots, well, we might get knocked over.
Now, all this is not to say that we must still live the Old Testament. Obviously I don't think we should uphold the values of stoning women or disobedient children or what-have-you. But what I'm saying is, the Hebrew Bible isn't old, there is still so much that it reveals to us, so much we will never fully know.


One day we can talk about how much I believe that God's word is still being unveiled to us, that the word of the Lord is not static, but that it evolves, that, as we love to say in the UCC, 'God is still speaking.' But this is already pretty long and it was just meant to be an overview of my classes so... I think I'll go to dinner.


Peace&Blessings

Reflections on 9/11 Remembrances

Hi all, I wanted to use today's entry to reflect on yesterday. I am sure we've all heard our share of remembrances, but indulge me; let me tell you one more story:

On Sunday, the ten year anniversary on 9/11, I went to the 9 AM service at Old South church. I sat in the Gordon Chapel, contemplating if I'd actually be coming back (because I had not actually been greeted by anyone in the 15 minutes I was there prior to the beginning of the service). When the service started, I felt myself falling back into the church routine. I was also amazed by the amount of people who came to the "smaller" early morning service, because it was easily 75 people. I figured, rightly so, that the church would do some sort of remembrance of what happened on the eleventh of September, ten years ago.

At a point in the service, Rev. Caldwell asked us to turn to our neighbor and tell our story of 9/11. My neighbor was a woman visiting Old South for the first time, an artist, whose name I have unfortunately let slip from my mind. I shared my story of being in freshman history in room 210, Mrs. Gallagher opened the door because the small, quiet librarian was running through the halls saying "Turn on the TV! The twin towers have been hit! We're under attacke!" and I remember watching CNN with my history class, one girl whose uncle worked in the towers. I remember hearing a plane had targeted the pentagon and crashed. I remember the TV saying it was the end times. I remember lots of fear from all sides.

My neighbor said her husband was supposed to be flying into New York that morning but, for whatever reason, he didn't go. She said that she felt so sad her young children, and my generation, would have to grow up in the aftermath of this tragedy. Together, we let silent tears fall as we mourned all that was lost that day.

Then, Rev. Caldwell asked us to tell another story - what are we doing to make sure this doesn't happen again? In different ways, we both answered that we would love on the world, her with her ministry through art, and I with my ministry through the church. We both believe that peace is attainable and we are both putting parts of ourselves out into the world to try and make it a reality.

We took communion and she ducked out before the service was finished, but she's somewhere in Boston, painting pictures of hope, putting her love out there for the world to see, doing what she can to cultivate peace.

Art Night #1

Hi all! Just a quick check-in to say "orientation is going awesome!!" I went to art night last night - and a second one this night - at the studio in the meetinghouse and this is what I made:

"Communion" Madelyn Downer, 2011

Well, I don't think of myself as much of an artist - my brother got all that talent - but the artist in residence told me I have to "claim [my] art" so that's what I'm doing!

On the agenda for tomorrow: more orientation!

Cup of Coffee = Ministry

I've been applying to a lot of coffee houses here and, unlike most people applying to Dunkin Donuts/Starbucks/etc., it's not just because I need a job. Yes, it is partially because I need a job, but I'm applying at coffeehouses because I believe that 

serving coffee is a ministry.

A cup of coffee can get you through a long Monday afternoon at work. I've seen it brighten the faces of homeless people and I've seen it be a comforter to many, many college students during finals time - myself included.


It's an experience, one that starts with a genuine and friendly, "Hi, how're you doing? What can I get for you?" If a barista/server/whatever you want to call it, treats you like you're just one customer closer to quitting time, well, that's never made me feel very good. The servers (or cashiers at stores, like the one older woman at Target in North Haven) who recognize that you, the customer, are, in fact, a person and who treat you as such, those are the ones who make a mundane thing, like grabbing coffee, an actual positive experience in your life...


And, because ministry is my vocation, I want to work at a coffee shop. Whether it's something like Dunkin' or Branford's Common Grounds, people need coffee, and people need a connection, not just an empty "have a nice day" with a cup of burnt coffee.

From WeHeartIt

How To Tuesdays: Grocery Shopping in Grad School

Well, we all need to eat, even us grad students. Today, I went grocery shopping. The snack foods I brought from home just would not cut it for meals the week before the cafe opens. I realized this last night when I was about to go sans dinner for the second night in a row (in all fairness, I just forgot to eat the first night - I was so enthralled in getting my room in a live-able state). I was wondering whether I wanted peanut butter crackers or Ramen noodles (without the seasoning - too much sodium!) and I was really lamenting the fact that I'd forgotten about bread, tuna, and beans when buying food back home. 

Turns out, when you need something, all you have to do is ask! Who knew?

So, I was talking to my new friend about the lack of protein filled, life sustaining foods in my room and she offered to drive me down to the store! She's so sweet! I thought she'd also be getting something, but she really wasn't there for any other reason except to drive me. And, on top of that, she gave me a chocolate cheesecake bite that she'd bought at the grocery store! She drives me somewhere and gives me chocolate? I think that's grounds for Sainthood right there.

My mantra on this shopping trip: Protein. Protein. Protein. 

(My friend, Greg, would be proud.)

Okay, you can see this isn't really a how-to guide, but let me tell what I did learn from my first real grocery shopping experience all on my very own:

1. The push cart is definitely preferable over the basket. Especially when you plan on getting glass bottles of juice and cans of beans.

2. Fruit is really expensive. I'm hoping a certain mother will see this and send me a few packages of diced peaches...

3. Canned vegetables don't go bad (well, at least not in the next year or two)... Plus, if I get fresh vegetables, I'm going to bike to the farmer's market and get them there.

4. Just because the brand you love is on sale does not mean it's going to be cheaper than the store brand. I got the store brand because I am a college student who still has not found a job (what... three days later?).

5. Planning is important. I saw a lot of stuff I'd love to have but didn't need (Rose tea for $8.99/15 bags), it was more important to buy protein and filling foods... hence the beans, burritos, canned veggies, and mac and cheese... I did splurge on the Sweet Leaf teas because they're on sale for $1 each and... I love them.

I'm going to do some more job hunting in the morning (who knows - maybe the Newton music shop will put up a "help wanted" sign while I'm asleep) and then go to Faneuil Hall, maybe some other places...

My New Space:

Settled In at School

Well, after waiting for what seemed like forevvvvvverrrrr... I am settled in at school! I spent most of the day with my family, pilfered some hangers from Raph (because I forgot mine, of course), and then went back to my dorm to set up my space... It's a great little space, but it photographs much better in the light...

As a little teaser, I'll show you what it looked like earlier in the day:

Home Sweet Mess

I'll post the pictures of my room all set up tomorrow... For now, I'm going to go to bed and try and wake up by 6 AM.

<3

Don't You Forget About Me

My sister gave me and my brother going away presents today:

My going-away present from Shelbie.

She's too cute. This is what she put in the box:

• A picture of her silly, wonderful self. It's a very funny picture... On it she wrote, "Don't you forget about me" a la Simple Minds.
• A Halloween craft/recipe magazine and a Whole Living magazine.
• A laundry bag for my drrrrrty clothes.
• A gift card for Starbucks (yay! I don't have to give up coffee because I'm broke... yet!)
• A 6 pack... of Ramen! 
• Hello Kitty bandaids!!
• Gigantic paperclips
• Q-Tips
• Ear plugs
• A rubber band ball
• A funky little pen
• Some cash money and
• A roll of quarters so I can do laundry!

She put tags on some of the stuff... for instance, on a package with a map and a Bible she channeled Carrie Underwood and wrote "if you ever lose your way" <3

A map of Boston... and two faces I'm going to miss a lot!!

She's my bestest friend in the whole wide world... I don't know what I'm going to do without her! Who will finish my sentences? I'll have to speak whole thoughts! :(

Well, I'm going to pack up the computer now and get to work on packing the car... Next time I write, I'll be on the other side of the state line.

One Day Left

There's only one day left until I leave for school. Today I went to the doctor thinking that maybe I should get the sore throat I've had for the past two weeks checked out and, yes, I do have something going in the ears/throat. Great. So I got medicine to take and hopefully I can kick this thing before classes actually start on the twelfth.

Do you see anything, Doc?

So when I went to get my prescription at the supermarket, I also went grocery shopping for the first couple of weeks when I'm at school. Buying groceries for one? An interesting experience. Horizon Organics milk (that's the kind that doesn't need to go in the fridge before you open it), cereal, crackers, peanut butter, fruit cups, and - of course - ramen noodles. :)

Now the tricky part, getting it all into the one pink crate I've reserved for food...

Tetris: Kitchen Edition

Overflowing? ... Fail.

Okay, so it doesn't all fit... But that's okay... Hopefully I can fit everything in my stepdad's SUV. Hopefully.

Maybe I can fit in another blog post before I pack up my laptop tomorrow... Otherwise, I'll see you post-move!! 

My Whole Entire Life

I can't believe it - with the exception of a few things I know I'm going to need over the next few days (clothes, pillows, alarm clock, this computer, etc.) I'm all packed up and ready to move! This is, pretty much, my whole entire life!! 

1 Trunk

7 Boxes

2 Bags

1 Hamper

and some miscellaneous stuff it just didn't make sense to pack...

I think there might be one more box if I can get some grocery shopping done while I'm still at home...

What's staying at home?

Knick knacks

A huge dresser full of books

My guitar and piano (for now)

My sewing machine (maybe - it's not that big... and I kind of need it for my etsy store... and to mend anything while I'm at school...)

My furniture (my bed, three bookshelves, a dresser)

My drumset

Three hampers of clothes/shoes

I wonder why I have all this stuff if I'm not going to use it... though the furniture and instruments make sense, so many books and knick knacks really don't...

One of my goals at school this year is to simplify, simplify, simplify... Hopefully living in the smaller space will help me with that. I hope.

I am going to miss this face!

Is it a bad thing that the one thing I'm worried about is never seeing my previous little fluffball? Do you think that dogs understand Skype? And that I'm not gone forever, just for a few months at a time?

Aww, little Fiona, please, don't be sad.