Paying Attention (Welcome to Advent)

Oh my sweet ones, I had a moment in church today.

I am not in church very often. I'm the director of children's and youth ministries, but my Sunday mornings are often spent preparing classrooms and the chapel and rarely in the Sanctuary. I volunteered to do the children's sermon this morning (despite never having actually seen how the children's sermon is normally done at the church I serve now) because it is the first Sunday in Advent. I was going to teach the kids about God breaking into the world and offering the gift of hope to a needy and yearning people. And I guess that is what I told them this morning, but as it turns out, they one-upped me. They often do.

At the end of my children's sermon, I invited the kids to join me in a spirit of prayer as I sat with them at the front of the sanctuary. Since I often pray in front of people, I close my eyes and hold my hands low in front of me, palms up. You know, the "I don't want to fold my hands and bow my head, but I wasn't raised in an Evangelical community so I keep 'em low" sort of posture that is really excellent for use in leading worship in New England. The kids all assume the "head down, hands folded" tried-and-true way of listening and talking to God. 

So I begin to pray about God's love breaking into the world and I feel a little hand slip into my right hand. Oh my gosh, y'all, it was so small. And it was warm. And I gave it a little squeeze to say, "We're in this prayer together and you are welcome in this space with me and I am glad, so glad you are here." And then, a few words later, another hand reached out and found my left hand and, of course, I squeezed that one too, though, to tell you the truth, I am surprised that it's there - that two of the kids reached out and found my hands this morning. 

I am wrapping up this prayer about hope (it really wasn't very long, but I find those moments when you are paying attention, they really seem to stretch out), and I decide that I need to see whose hands are in mine before I close the prayer and send us all off to Sunday school. I just need to know who reached out across the vastness of space and grabbed my hands. So I open my eyes before the Amen and this is what I see:

Every child has found a hand to hold and we're sitting there on the chancel steps, pretzeled together and loving God and each other in that quiet sort of way.

Every one of these kids reached out and found another hand. Every one made some room for Love. Every one of these kids was listening to the call to be present with one another, to love God and each other, and they were acting on it. 

What an invitation! What a welcome into the season of paying attention! I am blessed to have such brilliant teachers to help me prepare my heart during Advent, to make me stop and wonder, to help me pay attention to the little moments of Love shared between us, and to be grateful. 

So some reminders for the Advent season, more for myself than anything else, but you may find them helpful, too:

Be alert - God can show up anywhere and at anytime! Pay attention to Hope, Joy, Love, and Peace; they show up in tiny, little things that we can (and totally do) ignore. Don't ignore them. Don't be so preoccupied with worry, anger, hurt, and fear that you miss them. Make a conscious decision to choose to reach out and take a hand instead of worrying if the hand will be pulled away. Advent is the season of preparing your heart, so do it already.

Remember dear ones, there is a light in the darkness. It cannot be overcome. 

Love, love, love,

Maddie

Put On Some Clothes

Outward appearances: people seem split on their importance. We proclaim “inner beauty” yet, The Society Pages.org states that beauty spending “adds up to a $160 billion-a-year worldwide”[i] industry. What we say and what we believe certainly seem to be two different things.

Now, if you’re a member of my home church, you may recall the sermon where I trashed my prom dress, proclaiming that the Divine didn’t care what we wore while we did the work we are called to, so long as our hearts were in the right place. I still hold this to be true, but I’d like to make an amendment – what we wear makes a difference, not in God’s eyes, but in our own. The clothes may not make the proverbial man, but they may help the man see himself more fully.

So why the shift in perception? I tried on pastoral robes.

I didn’t even have to look in a mirror – I felt like a minister. My friend Kelly said I was “just glowing.”

Pictured: Bioluminescence.

Now, I know my ministry didn’t start with putting that robe on. Obviously not. Ever since I first felt this stirring to serve six years ago, I’ve been working to answer this calling – going on visits to friends in hospice, providing music, preaching, serving on committees, organizing community events, helping lead worship, teaching confirmation, and leading the high school youth ministry.

But, honestly, when I put that robe on, it was a sudden affirmation of what I’ve known in my heart but never really owned – I’m going to be a pastor. I’m going to walk with people on their spiritual journeys. I’m going to sit with them in times of sorrow and we are gonna dance together in times of joy.

Nothing changed. I didn’t hear the voice of God saying “Now that you have these robes on, you can really begin your ministry.” But it was a kick-start almost. It was a reminder.

My grandfather loves to tell me that ministers don’t paint their nails or have tattoos or dye their hair. I know all of this is based in his concern for my well-being and his love for me. I would always laugh and shake my head. But I see where he was coming from. I think I get the underlying message – if you don’t present yourself as a minister, other people won’t see you as one. And I’ll give in a little bit – you need to see yourself  as a minister, you need to own your calling, before other people will see you as a minister. Just like my little sister will one day have to own her calling to Mr. Berry-dom (i.e. teaching literature and film classes to high school students) before she begins to teach. Just like we all have to own our purpose in life.

And, no, you don’t need to be wearing certain clothes to own your calling in life, but if it helps you understand yourself and see yourself more in the role you feel called to, is that a bad thing? My vote is ‘no, it’s not.’

I guess what I’m getting at is, sometimes, what we think is a just a superficial outward appearance is actually our inward selves radiating out. And when your inner self is reflected out for the world to see – through your actions, attitudes, and, yes, even clothes – that is a beautiful thing.

Own it friends. And if you need a little help owning it, put on some clothes.

---

[i] http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2009/05/15/the-beauty-industry-spending-and-routines/

I Give Up...

Lent is quickly approaching. This Wednesday, many of us will go to church, receive the imposition of ashes, and give up something for Lent.

Last year I gave up alcohol, the year before that sweets of any kind, and so on... And while "giving these things up" made going to the bar or dessert a little less enjoyable, I realize, for me at least, there was nothing in them that actually worked on my relationship with the Divine.

This year, I'm giving up one thing and taking on another.

I'm giving up negative self-talk. So, when I jokingly say negative things about myself or when I say negative things about myself and mean it, or when I catch myself thinking negative things about myself... I'm going to stop myself and say a short prayer/affirmation.

I'm taking on the practice of simplifying my own life - speaking in material terms - and of giving to those in need. I will make at least one run to Goodwill each week. I will not buy any shoes/clothes/etc. during Lent. Basically, if it's not food or school supplies, I don't really need to have it. And too much stuff, materially, tends to make me feel claustraphobic and cluttered emotionally, so we'll work on that this Lent by trying to trim it out of the material in an effort to help out on the emotional side as well.

What are you doing for Lent?

Where Is Church?

So this morning, I had intended to go see one of my sweet seminarian friends preach. That plan went out the window when I woke up at 10:05. I considered going to an 11 o' clock service at another church, rushing around to get ready and hop on the T... but it occured to me, what I really need right now is some "me and God" time... And I felt like walking. Yes, in the -2 degree wind chill, the best thing for my faith this morning was a walk.

So I packed up my laptop in my backpack, figuring I'd get lunch somewhere after my walk, and I took my iPhone (with headphones) and bundled up like Arctic Barbie and headed out into the blustery winds with The Decemberists' The King Is Dead as my soundtrack.

Here is a track-by-track of my spiritual formation this morning:

Don't Carry It All:
Beginning of song - This was a bad idea. It's cold outside.
Middle of song - Oh, wait, the sun is shining. I'm breathing. Things are not that bad.
End of song - Right, then. Things are actually pretty good.

Calamity Song:
I'll admit it, I broke into a kind of dance. The kind of dance you can only do with nine layers on. Sometimes this song makes me really happy.

Rise to Me:
Okay, God. I get it. Good morning, how are you? Thanks for checking in.
The lyrics of this song don't actually make sense in relation to the feeling it imbues in me.

Rox in the Box:
"Of dirt you're made and to dirt you will return.
So while we're living here,
let's get this little one thing clear,
There's plenty of men to die,
you don't jump your turn...
What were you meant for?
What were you meant for?"

January Hymn:
It is January. I can identify with this song. This song is good stuff.
"What were the words I meant to say before she left,
when I could see her breathe lead where she was going to.
Maybe I should just let it be,
and maybe it will all come back to me.
Sing oh, Janu, oh, January, oh."

Down By the Water:
Okay, this song doesn't actually inspire much... but it continues the good feeling.

All Arise!:
"But you keep on stealing, you keep on stealing,
yes, you keep on stealing 'til there's nothing left to steal."
I like this song too.

June Hymn:
I now have this calm that was not there when I woke up this morning. It is quite pleasant.

This Is Why We Fight:
I'm now in Starbucks contemplating this good feeling that has manifested itself in my brain.
"This is why, this is why we fight,
This is why we lie awake."

Dear Avery:
"Don't you shake alone, please, Avery, come home."

It's good stuff, friends.

And I think feelings like this are a big part of why my idea of church is so nebulous and unformed. What constitutes as church? Why does the order of worship and which hymnal we use matter so much? Why do I need an old white or stone building to minister to others?

No, I know that I don't. I don't know what my ministry is going to look like, but I hope it includes cold morning walks and indie folk-rock albums.

Colby Chapel

Today I went with my friend Caitlin (who is part architect, part student, all awesome) to see Colby Chapel. Colby Chapel is a chapel on the ANTS campus that isn't used anymore because the school leases out the building to an architecture firm and, while they don't use the chapel, fire code rules say there aren't enough exits to accommodate both (or something like that).

Anyway, it's a beautiful little space... Here are some pictures I took:

Stained glass window, Colby Chapel.

M Downer, 2011

 Inscription on Pulpit, Colby Chapel.

M Downer, 2011

 Gabled roof, Colby Chapel.

M Downer, 2011

 Song of Songs, Colby Chapel.

M Downer, 2011

 Bible, Colby Chapel.

M Downer, 2011

 Altar, Colby Chapel.

M Downer, 2011

 Quiet, Please, Colby Chapel.

M Downer, 2011

Communion, Colby Chapel.

M Downer, 2011

Cross, Colby Chapel.

M Downer, 2011

Prayer isn't a sweet, nice, safe, naive little activity to do in your flowery hat. It is a crash helmet action for people who flip kayaks into raging spring rivers.

 - Martha Grace Reese

An Attitude of Gratitude

One of the things I'm doing as part of my spiritual practices class is trying to cultivate an attitude of gratitude... you know, for class and for life in general. Well, I just wanted to share something...

Yesterday a woman came into Starbucks and ordered a Venti Soy Latte. I was making her drink and talking to her at the espresso bar. She told me it was her birthday and that she didn't have anyone to celebrate it with so what she was doing was treating herself to a venti instead of a tall. That didn't sound like a great birthday so I asked if I could sing to her. She said she'd enjoy that very much. So I sang Maureen happy birthday. She thanked me and told me it made her day and she was glad she stopped in. I thanked her for letting me be a part of her birthday. When I was walking home, I thought it over - she let me into her vulnerability, her loneliness, she let me take residence there for a brief time.

I am grateful to be invited into a few moments of Maureen's life and that I was gifted with the honor of being a bright spot in her day.

Immediately (Mark 10:46-52)

Immediately, he regained his sight and followed Jesus on the path.


This is the verse that jumped out at me during lectio divina today. I was reading Mark 10:46-52, "Bartimaeus receives his sight."


There are a lot of things about passage that I love:
Bartimaeus knows that he's broken. In his valley of despair, he still trusts in the Lord. He calls out to Jesus. It takes courage, it takes faith, to confront the brokenness that is inside ourselves. And we've all got it. Bartimaeus's brokenness is partly physical - he's blind.


And so, Bartimaeus is shouting, "Jesus, have mercy on me!" And everyone around him, the crowds following Jesus, they're all saying, "Bartimaeus, you just shut your mouth." (i.e. rebuking)


And Jesus stops walking and says, "Eh, no no no. Call him over to me." Jesus stands still. In this big, loud crowd, Jesus hears Bartimaeus's call and he stands still.


So someone, I'm guessing it was one of the disciples but really it just says the very vague 'they,' tells Bartimaeus Jesus has called him.


Jesus asks Bartimaeus, "What do you want me to do for you?" Now, we can unpack that syntax another time, I think it's pretty loaded. 


Bartimaeus says, "Rabbi, I want to see." Woah. Now, I know Bart is blind, but this is kind of what we all want, right? We want to see. We want to see past our fears, past our selves. We want to see the world, the good. We want to understand our place in all of it. We want to know God. We want to see.


And Jesus says, "Go, your faith has healed you." Jesus doesn't say, "I have healed you." He says your faith, your trust in God, your continual belief (not dogma or creed), the faith you have in the Lord in the midst of your brokenness, your willingness to be vulnerable, to open yourself and trust in the Lord, that is what made you well. That's what I think Jesus is saying to Bartimaeus.


But wait, Bart doesn't just go off on his merry way once he can see again. 


IMMEDIATELY, he regained his sight. Immediately. And he followed Jesus on the path. Once his eyes were opened, there was no going back to his prior life.


His trust in God was so deep and real that it healed him. It made him well, it made him whole. And once Bartimaeus regained his sight, he didn't just say, "I'm going to do what I want now," even though Jesus didn't tell him he couldn't. Bartimaeus said, 'I've seen this good that trust in the Lord can do and I can't go back to living my life like I was before.' and  he followed Jesus on the path. 


Immediately. That word has stuck with me all day. The decision follow Jesus on the path wasn't one contemplated with pros-and-cons lists. The bills weren't all paid, money wasn't saved. Right then and there, the presence of the Lord so changed Bartimaeus's life that he couldn't go back to life he knew... There was nothing there for him because he had found a way to move past his despair, to become whole. Immediately. 

Sunday

Hey everybody!


Right now I'm taking a break from reading about the liturgical year (did you know it starts with Easter and not Advent? And that Easter is 50 days long, not just one Sunday?). Homework has been lots of reading, which I'm often accomplishing on the T.


Yesterday, I went over to Cambridge to go to this massive vintage/second-hand clothing store and super amazing costume shop. Their costumes were a bit pricey but the clothes were amazing. I didn't actually get any clothes but I was amazed at everything they had.


Today, I cleaned my room (I know, this is exactly why you come to look at my blog, right?). Woohoo. I clean my room, like, every day though so that's not really exciting... Anyway, I'm gonna finish up my reading for tomorrow's class and then a group of friends are doing a reading of Hamlet on the quad (I'm Queen Gertrude!) so I'm going to that in a little while.


Later on, well, probably more homework. Or trolling Craigslist for jobs... I still haven't found though I apply a couple places every day. Please keep my job search in your prayers.


<3


P.S. If you haven't read the Still Speaking devotional today, here it is. I laughed when I saw it because it's titled, "Darn That Jesus."


P.P.S. Why is it so humid when it's almost October?

Reflections on 9/11 Remembrances

Hi all, I wanted to use today's entry to reflect on yesterday. I am sure we've all heard our share of remembrances, but indulge me; let me tell you one more story:

On Sunday, the ten year anniversary on 9/11, I went to the 9 AM service at Old South church. I sat in the Gordon Chapel, contemplating if I'd actually be coming back (because I had not actually been greeted by anyone in the 15 minutes I was there prior to the beginning of the service). When the service started, I felt myself falling back into the church routine. I was also amazed by the amount of people who came to the "smaller" early morning service, because it was easily 75 people. I figured, rightly so, that the church would do some sort of remembrance of what happened on the eleventh of September, ten years ago.

At a point in the service, Rev. Caldwell asked us to turn to our neighbor and tell our story of 9/11. My neighbor was a woman visiting Old South for the first time, an artist, whose name I have unfortunately let slip from my mind. I shared my story of being in freshman history in room 210, Mrs. Gallagher opened the door because the small, quiet librarian was running through the halls saying "Turn on the TV! The twin towers have been hit! We're under attacke!" and I remember watching CNN with my history class, one girl whose uncle worked in the towers. I remember hearing a plane had targeted the pentagon and crashed. I remember the TV saying it was the end times. I remember lots of fear from all sides.

My neighbor said her husband was supposed to be flying into New York that morning but, for whatever reason, he didn't go. She said that she felt so sad her young children, and my generation, would have to grow up in the aftermath of this tragedy. Together, we let silent tears fall as we mourned all that was lost that day.

Then, Rev. Caldwell asked us to tell another story - what are we doing to make sure this doesn't happen again? In different ways, we both answered that we would love on the world, her with her ministry through art, and I with my ministry through the church. We both believe that peace is attainable and we are both putting parts of ourselves out into the world to try and make it a reality.

We took communion and she ducked out before the service was finished, but she's somewhere in Boston, painting pictures of hope, putting her love out there for the world to see, doing what she can to cultivate peace.

Art Night #1

Hi all! Just a quick check-in to say "orientation is going awesome!!" I went to art night last night - and a second one this night - at the studio in the meetinghouse and this is what I made:

"Communion" Madelyn Downer, 2011

Well, I don't think of myself as much of an artist - my brother got all that talent - but the artist in residence told me I have to "claim [my] art" so that's what I'm doing!

On the agenda for tomorrow: more orientation!

Cup of Coffee = Ministry

I've been applying to a lot of coffee houses here and, unlike most people applying to Dunkin Donuts/Starbucks/etc., it's not just because I need a job. Yes, it is partially because I need a job, but I'm applying at coffeehouses because I believe that 

serving coffee is a ministry.

A cup of coffee can get you through a long Monday afternoon at work. I've seen it brighten the faces of homeless people and I've seen it be a comforter to many, many college students during finals time - myself included.


It's an experience, one that starts with a genuine and friendly, "Hi, how're you doing? What can I get for you?" If a barista/server/whatever you want to call it, treats you like you're just one customer closer to quitting time, well, that's never made me feel very good. The servers (or cashiers at stores, like the one older woman at Target in North Haven) who recognize that you, the customer, are, in fact, a person and who treat you as such, those are the ones who make a mundane thing, like grabbing coffee, an actual positive experience in your life...


And, because ministry is my vocation, I want to work at a coffee shop. Whether it's something like Dunkin' or Branford's Common Grounds, people need coffee, and people need a connection, not just an empty "have a nice day" with a cup of burnt coffee.

From WeHeartIt

How To Tuesdays: Grocery Shopping in Grad School

Well, we all need to eat, even us grad students. Today, I went grocery shopping. The snack foods I brought from home just would not cut it for meals the week before the cafe opens. I realized this last night when I was about to go sans dinner for the second night in a row (in all fairness, I just forgot to eat the first night - I was so enthralled in getting my room in a live-able state). I was wondering whether I wanted peanut butter crackers or Ramen noodles (without the seasoning - too much sodium!) and I was really lamenting the fact that I'd forgotten about bread, tuna, and beans when buying food back home. 

Turns out, when you need something, all you have to do is ask! Who knew?

So, I was talking to my new friend about the lack of protein filled, life sustaining foods in my room and she offered to drive me down to the store! She's so sweet! I thought she'd also be getting something, but she really wasn't there for any other reason except to drive me. And, on top of that, she gave me a chocolate cheesecake bite that she'd bought at the grocery store! She drives me somewhere and gives me chocolate? I think that's grounds for Sainthood right there.

My mantra on this shopping trip: Protein. Protein. Protein. 

(My friend, Greg, would be proud.)

Okay, you can see this isn't really a how-to guide, but let me tell what I did learn from my first real grocery shopping experience all on my very own:

1. The push cart is definitely preferable over the basket. Especially when you plan on getting glass bottles of juice and cans of beans.

2. Fruit is really expensive. I'm hoping a certain mother will see this and send me a few packages of diced peaches...

3. Canned vegetables don't go bad (well, at least not in the next year or two)... Plus, if I get fresh vegetables, I'm going to bike to the farmer's market and get them there.

4. Just because the brand you love is on sale does not mean it's going to be cheaper than the store brand. I got the store brand because I am a college student who still has not found a job (what... three days later?).

5. Planning is important. I saw a lot of stuff I'd love to have but didn't need (Rose tea for $8.99/15 bags), it was more important to buy protein and filling foods... hence the beans, burritos, canned veggies, and mac and cheese... I did splurge on the Sweet Leaf teas because they're on sale for $1 each and... I love them.

I'm going to do some more job hunting in the morning (who knows - maybe the Newton music shop will put up a "help wanted" sign while I'm asleep) and then go to Faneuil Hall, maybe some other places...

Don't You Forget About Me

My sister gave me and my brother going away presents today:

My going-away present from Shelbie.

She's too cute. This is what she put in the box:

• A picture of her silly, wonderful self. It's a very funny picture... On it she wrote, "Don't you forget about me" a la Simple Minds.
• A Halloween craft/recipe magazine and a Whole Living magazine.
• A laundry bag for my drrrrrty clothes.
• A gift card for Starbucks (yay! I don't have to give up coffee because I'm broke... yet!)
• A 6 pack... of Ramen! 
• Hello Kitty bandaids!!
• Gigantic paperclips
• Q-Tips
• Ear plugs
• A rubber band ball
• A funky little pen
• Some cash money and
• A roll of quarters so I can do laundry!

She put tags on some of the stuff... for instance, on a package with a map and a Bible she channeled Carrie Underwood and wrote "if you ever lose your way" <3

A map of Boston... and two faces I'm going to miss a lot!!

She's my bestest friend in the whole wide world... I don't know what I'm going to do without her! Who will finish my sentences? I'll have to speak whole thoughts! :(

Well, I'm going to pack up the computer now and get to work on packing the car... Next time I write, I'll be on the other side of the state line.

My Cup Overflows!

It sure does! 

Photo: WeHeartIt

Reflections on Maddiepalooza

I've had a few days to reflect on Maddiepalooza and I am still in awe of everyone who worked so hard to pull it together and everyone who came out to support me as I prepare for this next part of my journey.

This fundraiser was pulled together in just three short weeks. With the persistence of my mother, two local newspapers got involved to do stories on it. My friend, Lisa, recruited bands to play. They both found people to donate food, drinks, decorations, and to help set up and clean up.

People donated items for a raffle and for an auction - and they weren't small prizes either. My friend and mentor, Vance, donated a week at his time share. The auction raised $600 - amazing, I think, because no one knew beforehand that this auction was taking place. I think that's amazing, that people were willing to put forth that much money on the spot... because they wanted to support me! :)

And the people who were there - there were so many surprises! My very first pastor, Michael, and his wife came up from New Jersey. It was so good seeing him after ten years! My mentor and former interim pastor, Matt, came by with his wife, Allison. Matt joined Trees of the Field to sing a few songs. And of course, Vance and my current pastor, Deborah, were there. It was so great to have so many people I admire there to support me.

My family, friends, and church family were all represented too! Most of the girls from my youth choir came with their families, the members of youth group who hadn't already left for school were there as well. Many other church families, family friends, and some of my friends from work came as well.

I am just blown away by how much love and support everyone has shown me. I talked a little bit about how everyone giving just a little bit ends up being a whole lot, and that with that, I can go on to show that same kind of overflowing love to others. I just can't get over it, this overflowing love of God that I get to experience all the time.

Thank you to everyone who came out, who supports/prays/thinks of me as I continue on this path that God has called me to. I love you all!

Taste and See!

I've been baking pretty much non-stop. I want to make at least 100 cupcakes, some brownies, and other desserts for my palooza tomorrow. I'm not normally a baker, or a cook, in any capacity... but I can find my way around a kitchen when I need to.

I decided that I wanted to dye the cupcakes to match my school's colors - navy blue and purple. So I dyed the yellow cake batter blue and purple and mixed them together in the cupcake tins like a marble cake. And... ta da?

Spot on if you're colorblind.

Okay, well, that didn't work. What happened? How did the blue and purple cupcakes turn into toxic pond green and earthworm brown?

I don't have any scientific-sounding reasons, but the best I can guess is that - like paint or nail polish - the batter looks darker than it will when it "dries" (in this case, bakes).

And this got me thinking... Things look different after they've had a chance to dry; after we've had a chance to work through our problems, taken some time to step back and look at the whole wall instead of inside a paint can - or, perhaps, a tray of cupcakes instead of a thick bowl of batter. It's almost like Seurat's paintings... If you look up close at A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grand Jatte, all you see is flecks of color... You have to step back and take it in. When it's concentrated, like when cake batter or paint is concentrated, it's not the same.

Life is the same way. When we're dealing with something, whether it's money problems, bumps in a relationship, health scares, or just general stress, we have to step back, give it a little bit of time, and see it more clearly. Maybe it looks a little murky now, but if we give it time to process, we'll see a clearer picture, a lighter shade of paint, a green and brown cupcake. We'll be able to see things more clearly, for what they are. We know that God will help us through anything, but sometimes what we need most is to get out of that close up view and let God handle it.

Maybe after that, we'll be able to see that, yes, things will all work out:

Blue and purple cupcakes!

Taste and see that the Lord is good!

from Psalm 34:8

"Keep On... Keepin' On"

Today's UCC Stillspeaking Daily Devtional was called "Keep On... Keepin' On" and it was written by Ron Buford.

The third point Buford gives really struck a chord with me:

Third, show that you believe by moving forward 

before there is tangible or visible reason to do so—

even while weeping, sow seeds for the future you envision, 

though the path may be uncertain 

and you may just not feel like it . . .  yet.

Why? Because I've done this so many times. I've felt that sort of Why is this happening? feeling... and I just keep moving forward, keep hoping... I could recognize myself in this devotional... And that fact that this devotional was written and put out there says, 'Hey, guess what - when you feel like you're not sure what's going to happen, or you're overwhelmed, or you're just hoping for a light, something, anything... You're not alone in that. There's nothing wrong with it. Just keep moving forward, keep hoping; don't get stuck.'

Have you felt like this? What ways has God brought you through it in the past?

I feel a tinge of this now, what with relocating and worrying about how I'm going to get around (without getting lost) and finding a job near school and making new friends (and trying to stay in touch with the old)... But I've got hope. And I know that God has brought me through harder, scarier times than this. So I know it's going to be all right.

Morning Inspiration: Some Love to Start the Day Off Right

And wouldn't you know...

Photos: WeHeartIt

There is a place for you, here.

I've been asked, a lot, 'what would you say to a young person who maybe isn't sure about coming to church?' And I've thought about it, and what I'd say, really to anyone wondering about whether they could be part of a church, is this:

"There is a place for you, here."

There is a place for you, here, in the church. Whether you've been a part of a church your entire life, whether you went to church when you were little and now feel a calling back after a long time away, or if you've never been to church at all. There is is a place for you in the church. 

There is a place for you, here, in the life of the church. You're never too young to become part of the missions committee and help those who are on the fringes of our society. It doesn't matter if you haven't been to church that much, you can learn to minister to those in your congregation through being a deacon and helping make decisions about the spiritual life and worship in the church. You can organize fundraisers, you can start small groups, you can do big things - or small. You can join small groups, you can attend church dinners, or you can simply be a presence in the church at worship service.

It doesn't matter if you sit in the front or the back of the sanctuary, if you come in wearing your best suit or jeans and a t-shirt (God isn't calling your clothing to worship, God is calling you!), it doesn't matter if you are tattooed and pierced or if there's not a drop of ink in your skin, if you are single or married, an accountant or an artist, it doesn't matter if you've got money or if you're just barely squeaking by each week, or if you haven't paid your credit card in three months (you are not just another check in the offering plate, you are part of a loving and caring church community). What you look like, what you do, your past... it doesn't matter; what matters is that you are a beloved child of God, that you feel the Spirit working in amazing and miraculous ways... or maybe that you think you may have felt the Spirit, but you're not quite sure how this all works out for you, yes, Thomas, there is a place for you, too! There is room for everyone in the house of the Lord.

I would say: If you feel in your heart that God and Jesus are a part of your life, if you feel called to love others as a testament to the love that has been poured out on us, then there is a place for you, here, in the church - no matter what.

Yup, we've got room for you! (Photo: WeHeartIt)

I am blessed because, after I had walked away from the church after confirmation in ninth grade, when I later felt that God was calling me back to faith (after my first year at college), my church family said, 

We don't care where you've wandered, 

what matters is, you're here now, 

and you are ready to serve God,

to love like Jesus, 

and to revel in the Spirit of the Lord. 

They showed me, through their endless love and support, the unconditional and unrelenting love of God.

When I was a nineteen year old girl wanting to get back into church and feeling called to serve through youth ministry, they entrusted me with their freshman class of confirmands and let me start a high school youth ministry. They let me take the kids up to Boston for a weekend retreat in the city, they let me build a makeshift house out of boxes and spend the night with the kids outside (in October, in the rain). I was given the opportunity to organize worship services and small groups and to co-chair the biggest fundraiser in my church. I'm only 24, but in the past 5 years, my church has made a place for me, I've done things I never thought I'd actually be able to pull off - like organizing a music festival with seven bands from around the country, and joining with another area church to take kids on a mission trip to New Orleans to work on houses that had been damaged by Katrina. 

There was a place for me; there is a place for you.