Where Is Church?

So this morning, I had intended to go see one of my sweet seminarian friends preach. That plan went out the window when I woke up at 10:05. I considered going to an 11 o' clock service at another church, rushing around to get ready and hop on the T... but it occured to me, what I really need right now is some "me and God" time... And I felt like walking. Yes, in the -2 degree wind chill, the best thing for my faith this morning was a walk.

So I packed up my laptop in my backpack, figuring I'd get lunch somewhere after my walk, and I took my iPhone (with headphones) and bundled up like Arctic Barbie and headed out into the blustery winds with The Decemberists' The King Is Dead as my soundtrack.

Here is a track-by-track of my spiritual formation this morning:

Don't Carry It All:
Beginning of song - This was a bad idea. It's cold outside.
Middle of song - Oh, wait, the sun is shining. I'm breathing. Things are not that bad.
End of song - Right, then. Things are actually pretty good.

Calamity Song:
I'll admit it, I broke into a kind of dance. The kind of dance you can only do with nine layers on. Sometimes this song makes me really happy.

Rise to Me:
Okay, God. I get it. Good morning, how are you? Thanks for checking in.
The lyrics of this song don't actually make sense in relation to the feeling it imbues in me.

Rox in the Box:
"Of dirt you're made and to dirt you will return.
So while we're living here,
let's get this little one thing clear,
There's plenty of men to die,
you don't jump your turn...
What were you meant for?
What were you meant for?"

January Hymn:
It is January. I can identify with this song. This song is good stuff.
"What were the words I meant to say before she left,
when I could see her breathe lead where she was going to.
Maybe I should just let it be,
and maybe it will all come back to me.
Sing oh, Janu, oh, January, oh."

Down By the Water:
Okay, this song doesn't actually inspire much... but it continues the good feeling.

All Arise!:
"But you keep on stealing, you keep on stealing,
yes, you keep on stealing 'til there's nothing left to steal."
I like this song too.

June Hymn:
I now have this calm that was not there when I woke up this morning. It is quite pleasant.

This Is Why We Fight:
I'm now in Starbucks contemplating this good feeling that has manifested itself in my brain.
"This is why, this is why we fight,
This is why we lie awake."

Dear Avery:
"Don't you shake alone, please, Avery, come home."

It's good stuff, friends.

And I think feelings like this are a big part of why my idea of church is so nebulous and unformed. What constitutes as church? Why does the order of worship and which hymnal we use matter so much? Why do I need an old white or stone building to minister to others?

No, I know that I don't. I don't know what my ministry is going to look like, but I hope it includes cold morning walks and indie folk-rock albums.

An Attitude of Gratitude

One of the things I'm doing as part of my spiritual practices class is trying to cultivate an attitude of gratitude... you know, for class and for life in general. Well, I just wanted to share something...

Yesterday a woman came into Starbucks and ordered a Venti Soy Latte. I was making her drink and talking to her at the espresso bar. She told me it was her birthday and that she didn't have anyone to celebrate it with so what she was doing was treating herself to a venti instead of a tall. That didn't sound like a great birthday so I asked if I could sing to her. She said she'd enjoy that very much. So I sang Maureen happy birthday. She thanked me and told me it made her day and she was glad she stopped in. I thanked her for letting me be a part of her birthday. When I was walking home, I thought it over - she let me into her vulnerability, her loneliness, she let me take residence there for a brief time.

I am grateful to be invited into a few moments of Maureen's life and that I was gifted with the honor of being a bright spot in her day.