Immediately (Mark 10:46-52)

Immediately, he regained his sight and followed Jesus on the path.


This is the verse that jumped out at me during lectio divina today. I was reading Mark 10:46-52, "Bartimaeus receives his sight."


There are a lot of things about passage that I love:
Bartimaeus knows that he's broken. In his valley of despair, he still trusts in the Lord. He calls out to Jesus. It takes courage, it takes faith, to confront the brokenness that is inside ourselves. And we've all got it. Bartimaeus's brokenness is partly physical - he's blind.


And so, Bartimaeus is shouting, "Jesus, have mercy on me!" And everyone around him, the crowds following Jesus, they're all saying, "Bartimaeus, you just shut your mouth." (i.e. rebuking)


And Jesus stops walking and says, "Eh, no no no. Call him over to me." Jesus stands still. In this big, loud crowd, Jesus hears Bartimaeus's call and he stands still.


So someone, I'm guessing it was one of the disciples but really it just says the very vague 'they,' tells Bartimaeus Jesus has called him.


Jesus asks Bartimaeus, "What do you want me to do for you?" Now, we can unpack that syntax another time, I think it's pretty loaded. 


Bartimaeus says, "Rabbi, I want to see." Woah. Now, I know Bart is blind, but this is kind of what we all want, right? We want to see. We want to see past our fears, past our selves. We want to see the world, the good. We want to understand our place in all of it. We want to know God. We want to see.


And Jesus says, "Go, your faith has healed you." Jesus doesn't say, "I have healed you." He says your faith, your trust in God, your continual belief (not dogma or creed), the faith you have in the Lord in the midst of your brokenness, your willingness to be vulnerable, to open yourself and trust in the Lord, that is what made you well. That's what I think Jesus is saying to Bartimaeus.


But wait, Bart doesn't just go off on his merry way once he can see again. 


IMMEDIATELY, he regained his sight. Immediately. And he followed Jesus on the path. Once his eyes were opened, there was no going back to his prior life.


His trust in God was so deep and real that it healed him. It made him well, it made him whole. And once Bartimaeus regained his sight, he didn't just say, "I'm going to do what I want now," even though Jesus didn't tell him he couldn't. Bartimaeus said, 'I've seen this good that trust in the Lord can do and I can't go back to living my life like I was before.' and  he followed Jesus on the path. 


Immediately. That word has stuck with me all day. The decision follow Jesus on the path wasn't one contemplated with pros-and-cons lists. The bills weren't all paid, money wasn't saved. Right then and there, the presence of the Lord so changed Bartimaeus's life that he couldn't go back to life he knew... There was nothing there for him because he had found a way to move past his despair, to become whole. Immediately. 

Sunday

Hey everybody!


Right now I'm taking a break from reading about the liturgical year (did you know it starts with Easter and not Advent? And that Easter is 50 days long, not just one Sunday?). Homework has been lots of reading, which I'm often accomplishing on the T.


Yesterday, I went over to Cambridge to go to this massive vintage/second-hand clothing store and super amazing costume shop. Their costumes were a bit pricey but the clothes were amazing. I didn't actually get any clothes but I was amazed at everything they had.


Today, I cleaned my room (I know, this is exactly why you come to look at my blog, right?). Woohoo. I clean my room, like, every day though so that's not really exciting... Anyway, I'm gonna finish up my reading for tomorrow's class and then a group of friends are doing a reading of Hamlet on the quad (I'm Queen Gertrude!) so I'm going to that in a little while.


Later on, well, probably more homework. Or trolling Craigslist for jobs... I still haven't found though I apply a couple places every day. Please keep my job search in your prayers.


<3


P.S. If you haven't read the Still Speaking devotional today, here it is. I laughed when I saw it because it's titled, "Darn That Jesus."


P.P.S. Why is it so humid when it's almost October?

Thank you, Aunt Dee!

My favorite emails are the ones that say, 

You have a package in Upper Noyes Hall.

I especially love when I get them and I'm not expecting a package, like yesterday, and again today! While I've still got another hour before I can pick up today's package, yesterday's package was a real treat!

My aunt Dee sent me homemade cookies, brownies, and - my favorite - magic bars! Also, pumpkin spice jello and candies and cookies and a journal and a sweet note! It was such a great surprise! And I've been sick for almost a week now so this was really nice and made me feel a lot less "blah" than I've been feeling lately.

Thank you, Dee Dee! I love you & miss you! 

Art Night #1

Hi all! Just a quick check-in to say "orientation is going awesome!!" I went to art night last night - and a second one this night - at the studio in the meetinghouse and this is what I made:

"Communion" Madelyn Downer, 2011

Well, I don't think of myself as much of an artist - my brother got all that talent - but the artist in residence told me I have to "claim [my] art" so that's what I'm doing!

On the agenda for tomorrow: more orientation!

Cup of Coffee = Ministry

I've been applying to a lot of coffee houses here and, unlike most people applying to Dunkin Donuts/Starbucks/etc., it's not just because I need a job. Yes, it is partially because I need a job, but I'm applying at coffeehouses because I believe that 

serving coffee is a ministry.

A cup of coffee can get you through a long Monday afternoon at work. I've seen it brighten the faces of homeless people and I've seen it be a comforter to many, many college students during finals time - myself included.


It's an experience, one that starts with a genuine and friendly, "Hi, how're you doing? What can I get for you?" If a barista/server/whatever you want to call it, treats you like you're just one customer closer to quitting time, well, that's never made me feel very good. The servers (or cashiers at stores, like the one older woman at Target in North Haven) who recognize that you, the customer, are, in fact, a person and who treat you as such, those are the ones who make a mundane thing, like grabbing coffee, an actual positive experience in your life...


And, because ministry is my vocation, I want to work at a coffee shop. Whether it's something like Dunkin' or Branford's Common Grounds, people need coffee, and people need a connection, not just an empty "have a nice day" with a cup of burnt coffee.

From WeHeartIt

How To Tuesdays: Grocery Shopping in Grad School

Well, we all need to eat, even us grad students. Today, I went grocery shopping. The snack foods I brought from home just would not cut it for meals the week before the cafe opens. I realized this last night when I was about to go sans dinner for the second night in a row (in all fairness, I just forgot to eat the first night - I was so enthralled in getting my room in a live-able state). I was wondering whether I wanted peanut butter crackers or Ramen noodles (without the seasoning - too much sodium!) and I was really lamenting the fact that I'd forgotten about bread, tuna, and beans when buying food back home. 

Turns out, when you need something, all you have to do is ask! Who knew?

So, I was talking to my new friend about the lack of protein filled, life sustaining foods in my room and she offered to drive me down to the store! She's so sweet! I thought she'd also be getting something, but she really wasn't there for any other reason except to drive me. And, on top of that, she gave me a chocolate cheesecake bite that she'd bought at the grocery store! She drives me somewhere and gives me chocolate? I think that's grounds for Sainthood right there.

My mantra on this shopping trip: Protein. Protein. Protein. 

(My friend, Greg, would be proud.)

Okay, you can see this isn't really a how-to guide, but let me tell what I did learn from my first real grocery shopping experience all on my very own:

1. The push cart is definitely preferable over the basket. Especially when you plan on getting glass bottles of juice and cans of beans.

2. Fruit is really expensive. I'm hoping a certain mother will see this and send me a few packages of diced peaches...

3. Canned vegetables don't go bad (well, at least not in the next year or two)... Plus, if I get fresh vegetables, I'm going to bike to the farmer's market and get them there.

4. Just because the brand you love is on sale does not mean it's going to be cheaper than the store brand. I got the store brand because I am a college student who still has not found a job (what... three days later?).

5. Planning is important. I saw a lot of stuff I'd love to have but didn't need (Rose tea for $8.99/15 bags), it was more important to buy protein and filling foods... hence the beans, burritos, canned veggies, and mac and cheese... I did splurge on the Sweet Leaf teas because they're on sale for $1 each and... I love them.

I'm going to do some more job hunting in the morning (who knows - maybe the Newton music shop will put up a "help wanted" sign while I'm asleep) and then go to Faneuil Hall, maybe some other places...

My New Space:

Settled In at School

Well, after waiting for what seemed like forevvvvvverrrrr... I am settled in at school! I spent most of the day with my family, pilfered some hangers from Raph (because I forgot mine, of course), and then went back to my dorm to set up my space... It's a great little space, but it photographs much better in the light...

As a little teaser, I'll show you what it looked like earlier in the day:

Home Sweet Mess

I'll post the pictures of my room all set up tomorrow... For now, I'm going to go to bed and try and wake up by 6 AM.

<3

Don't You Forget About Me

My sister gave me and my brother going away presents today:

My going-away present from Shelbie.

She's too cute. This is what she put in the box:

• A picture of her silly, wonderful self. It's a very funny picture... On it she wrote, "Don't you forget about me" a la Simple Minds.
• A Halloween craft/recipe magazine and a Whole Living magazine.
• A laundry bag for my drrrrrty clothes.
• A gift card for Starbucks (yay! I don't have to give up coffee because I'm broke... yet!)
• A 6 pack... of Ramen! 
• Hello Kitty bandaids!!
• Gigantic paperclips
• Q-Tips
• Ear plugs
• A rubber band ball
• A funky little pen
• Some cash money and
• A roll of quarters so I can do laundry!

She put tags on some of the stuff... for instance, on a package with a map and a Bible she channeled Carrie Underwood and wrote "if you ever lose your way" <3

A map of Boston... and two faces I'm going to miss a lot!!

She's my bestest friend in the whole wide world... I don't know what I'm going to do without her! Who will finish my sentences? I'll have to speak whole thoughts! :(

Well, I'm going to pack up the computer now and get to work on packing the car... Next time I write, I'll be on the other side of the state line.

One Day Left

There's only one day left until I leave for school. Today I went to the doctor thinking that maybe I should get the sore throat I've had for the past two weeks checked out and, yes, I do have something going in the ears/throat. Great. So I got medicine to take and hopefully I can kick this thing before classes actually start on the twelfth.

Do you see anything, Doc?

So when I went to get my prescription at the supermarket, I also went grocery shopping for the first couple of weeks when I'm at school. Buying groceries for one? An interesting experience. Horizon Organics milk (that's the kind that doesn't need to go in the fridge before you open it), cereal, crackers, peanut butter, fruit cups, and - of course - ramen noodles. :)

Now the tricky part, getting it all into the one pink crate I've reserved for food...

Tetris: Kitchen Edition

Overflowing? ... Fail.

Okay, so it doesn't all fit... But that's okay... Hopefully I can fit everything in my stepdad's SUV. Hopefully.

Maybe I can fit in another blog post before I pack up my laptop tomorrow... Otherwise, I'll see you post-move!! 

My Whole Entire Life

I can't believe it - with the exception of a few things I know I'm going to need over the next few days (clothes, pillows, alarm clock, this computer, etc.) I'm all packed up and ready to move! This is, pretty much, my whole entire life!! 

1 Trunk

7 Boxes

2 Bags

1 Hamper

and some miscellaneous stuff it just didn't make sense to pack...

I think there might be one more box if I can get some grocery shopping done while I'm still at home...

What's staying at home?

Knick knacks

A huge dresser full of books

My guitar and piano (for now)

My sewing machine (maybe - it's not that big... and I kind of need it for my etsy store... and to mend anything while I'm at school...)

My furniture (my bed, three bookshelves, a dresser)

My drumset

Three hampers of clothes/shoes

I wonder why I have all this stuff if I'm not going to use it... though the furniture and instruments make sense, so many books and knick knacks really don't...

One of my goals at school this year is to simplify, simplify, simplify... Hopefully living in the smaller space will help me with that. I hope.