Put On Some Clothes

Outward appearances: people seem split on their importance. We proclaim “inner beauty” yet, The Society Pages.org states that beauty spending “adds up to a $160 billion-a-year worldwide”[i] industry. What we say and what we believe certainly seem to be two different things.

Now, if you’re a member of my home church, you may recall the sermon where I trashed my prom dress, proclaiming that the Divine didn’t care what we wore while we did the work we are called to, so long as our hearts were in the right place. I still hold this to be true, but I’d like to make an amendment – what we wear makes a difference, not in God’s eyes, but in our own. The clothes may not make the proverbial man, but they may help the man see himself more fully.

So why the shift in perception? I tried on pastoral robes.

I didn’t even have to look in a mirror – I felt like a minister. My friend Kelly said I was “just glowing.”

Pictured: Bioluminescence.

Now, I know my ministry didn’t start with putting that robe on. Obviously not. Ever since I first felt this stirring to serve six years ago, I’ve been working to answer this calling – going on visits to friends in hospice, providing music, preaching, serving on committees, organizing community events, helping lead worship, teaching confirmation, and leading the high school youth ministry.

But, honestly, when I put that robe on, it was a sudden affirmation of what I’ve known in my heart but never really owned – I’m going to be a pastor. I’m going to walk with people on their spiritual journeys. I’m going to sit with them in times of sorrow and we are gonna dance together in times of joy.

Nothing changed. I didn’t hear the voice of God saying “Now that you have these robes on, you can really begin your ministry.” But it was a kick-start almost. It was a reminder.

My grandfather loves to tell me that ministers don’t paint their nails or have tattoos or dye their hair. I know all of this is based in his concern for my well-being and his love for me. I would always laugh and shake my head. But I see where he was coming from. I think I get the underlying message – if you don’t present yourself as a minister, other people won’t see you as one. And I’ll give in a little bit – you need to see yourself  as a minister, you need to own your calling, before other people will see you as a minister. Just like my little sister will one day have to own her calling to Mr. Berry-dom (i.e. teaching literature and film classes to high school students) before she begins to teach. Just like we all have to own our purpose in life.

And, no, you don’t need to be wearing certain clothes to own your calling in life, but if it helps you understand yourself and see yourself more in the role you feel called to, is that a bad thing? My vote is ‘no, it’s not.’

I guess what I’m getting at is, sometimes, what we think is a just a superficial outward appearance is actually our inward selves radiating out. And when your inner self is reflected out for the world to see – through your actions, attitudes, and, yes, even clothes – that is a beautiful thing.

Own it friends. And if you need a little help owning it, put on some clothes.

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[i] http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2009/05/15/the-beauty-industry-spending-and-routines/

Home-Maker

There are some things I’m really good at. I pride myself on my ability to blow bubbles with gum not labeled “bubblegum.” I’m well-practiced in asking for hugs, making space for myself, frosting sugar cookies, and making up little songs. I know the fine art of soaking in any little bit of sunshine on a winter day, and I’ve gotten really good at making a place feel like my home.

I’m not sparse when it comes to decorating spaces. I like to fill shelves with tchotchkes and stack books, hang pictures of friends and framed maps of places I will, one day, visit. I’m crafty and so my space is often filled with things that reflect my somewhat off-beat sense of self.

On the day I moved into my new space at school, I had pictures and shelves hung before going to bed that night. My res rep came to my room and commented on the “great job” I’d done decorating.

But decorating only goes so far. We can fill a place with any amount of knick knacks or framed prints, but we have to put ourselves into it if we’re going to make a place feel like home.

And I think I have to revise my previous statement, because I couldn’t make any place feel like home without other people.

When I go on trips, the hotel becomes “home” because that is where me and my friends or family come together at the end of the day. The hotel is the place where we unpack our suitcases and ourselves after our big adventures. The hotel is our little place together in the world and, even if just for a few days, it is home.

When I moved to school, first I decorated. It was nice and organized but it wasn’t yet home. Now, my school is my home. It is a place where I feel safe, where I feel loved, where I feel embraced for who I am no matter what that entails. This is the place where I come back to after a particularly long day at work, the place where I cry when my heart is broken, the place where I run to when I have good news. Why? What makes this place my home?

The people.

The buildings and the location and the decorations are just the physical markings. These people are the people I trust with my secrets, with my sadness, with my joys, with my challenges. These are the people who I open myself to, to share their struggles and their happiness and even their thunderous, stormy days.

And if it’s the people that make this place a home, then I’ve got homes all over the country. Forget about millionaires and their summer homes. I’ve got about seven homes chock full of heart in Connecticut, a home overflowing with love Florida; I’ve got a home in Vermont, two in Maine, one in New York, one in Louisiana. I’ve got homes in Texas and California, Washington State and Washington, D.C.

The long and short of it is this: I’ve got so many homes because there are so many places where I know that someone loves me, where someone I am deeply connected to has decided to place themselves in the world. I’ve got homes where I’ve got memories, where smiles were shared or tears were shed, and, sometimes, both at once.

No reflection on home would be complete without the old adage, “Home is where the heart is.” Home is where the heart is, and we are blessed to have hearts so big that our home can be many places all at once.

As I ready my home here in Massachusetts for my trip back to my home in Connecticut, I remember a quote from Maya Angelou, “I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself.” And that is my hope, friends, that you and I both will know we are at home, wherever we may find ourselves.

Peace & Love.

Reflections on Maddiepalooza

I've had a few days to reflect on Maddiepalooza and I am still in awe of everyone who worked so hard to pull it together and everyone who came out to support me as I prepare for this next part of my journey.

This fundraiser was pulled together in just three short weeks. With the persistence of my mother, two local newspapers got involved to do stories on it. My friend, Lisa, recruited bands to play. They both found people to donate food, drinks, decorations, and to help set up and clean up.

People donated items for a raffle and for an auction - and they weren't small prizes either. My friend and mentor, Vance, donated a week at his time share. The auction raised $600 - amazing, I think, because no one knew beforehand that this auction was taking place. I think that's amazing, that people were willing to put forth that much money on the spot... because they wanted to support me! :)

And the people who were there - there were so many surprises! My very first pastor, Michael, and his wife came up from New Jersey. It was so good seeing him after ten years! My mentor and former interim pastor, Matt, came by with his wife, Allison. Matt joined Trees of the Field to sing a few songs. And of course, Vance and my current pastor, Deborah, were there. It was so great to have so many people I admire there to support me.

My family, friends, and church family were all represented too! Most of the girls from my youth choir came with their families, the members of youth group who hadn't already left for school were there as well. Many other church families, family friends, and some of my friends from work came as well.

I am just blown away by how much love and support everyone has shown me. I talked a little bit about how everyone giving just a little bit ends up being a whole lot, and that with that, I can go on to show that same kind of overflowing love to others. I just can't get over it, this overflowing love of God that I get to experience all the time.

Thank you to everyone who came out, who supports/prays/thinks of me as I continue on this path that God has called me to. I love you all!

There is a place for you, here.

I've been asked, a lot, 'what would you say to a young person who maybe isn't sure about coming to church?' And I've thought about it, and what I'd say, really to anyone wondering about whether they could be part of a church, is this:

"There is a place for you, here."

There is a place for you, here, in the church. Whether you've been a part of a church your entire life, whether you went to church when you were little and now feel a calling back after a long time away, or if you've never been to church at all. There is is a place for you in the church. 

There is a place for you, here, in the life of the church. You're never too young to become part of the missions committee and help those who are on the fringes of our society. It doesn't matter if you haven't been to church that much, you can learn to minister to those in your congregation through being a deacon and helping make decisions about the spiritual life and worship in the church. You can organize fundraisers, you can start small groups, you can do big things - or small. You can join small groups, you can attend church dinners, or you can simply be a presence in the church at worship service.

It doesn't matter if you sit in the front or the back of the sanctuary, if you come in wearing your best suit or jeans and a t-shirt (God isn't calling your clothing to worship, God is calling you!), it doesn't matter if you are tattooed and pierced or if there's not a drop of ink in your skin, if you are single or married, an accountant or an artist, it doesn't matter if you've got money or if you're just barely squeaking by each week, or if you haven't paid your credit card in three months (you are not just another check in the offering plate, you are part of a loving and caring church community). What you look like, what you do, your past... it doesn't matter; what matters is that you are a beloved child of God, that you feel the Spirit working in amazing and miraculous ways... or maybe that you think you may have felt the Spirit, but you're not quite sure how this all works out for you, yes, Thomas, there is a place for you, too! There is room for everyone in the house of the Lord.

I would say: If you feel in your heart that God and Jesus are a part of your life, if you feel called to love others as a testament to the love that has been poured out on us, then there is a place for you, here, in the church - no matter what.

Yup, we've got room for you! (Photo: WeHeartIt)

I am blessed because, after I had walked away from the church after confirmation in ninth grade, when I later felt that God was calling me back to faith (after my first year at college), my church family said, 

We don't care where you've wandered, 

what matters is, you're here now, 

and you are ready to serve God,

to love like Jesus, 

and to revel in the Spirit of the Lord. 

They showed me, through their endless love and support, the unconditional and unrelenting love of God.

When I was a nineteen year old girl wanting to get back into church and feeling called to serve through youth ministry, they entrusted me with their freshman class of confirmands and let me start a high school youth ministry. They let me take the kids up to Boston for a weekend retreat in the city, they let me build a makeshift house out of boxes and spend the night with the kids outside (in October, in the rain). I was given the opportunity to organize worship services and small groups and to co-chair the biggest fundraiser in my church. I'm only 24, but in the past 5 years, my church has made a place for me, I've done things I never thought I'd actually be able to pull off - like organizing a music festival with seven bands from around the country, and joining with another area church to take kids on a mission trip to New Orleans to work on houses that had been damaged by Katrina. 

There was a place for me; there is a place for you.